I shouldn't worry about anything ever. No really!! I have a great family, wonderful husband and a God that has proven over and over and over again that He is taking care of me one step at a time. I can pile all my burdens on Him and He will give me the strength and support to walk through this life. So why do I find myself doing it?!? I'm not sure I can answer that other than to say I'm not perfect. I wonder about Boo's future and what it really holds. Sometimes I wish I knew the future so I could prepare better and other times I'm glad I don't. If you told me last year what my life was going to be like this year I probably wouldn't believe it. It's probably why God doesn't tell us our life story ahead of time but rather puts things in place to prepare us for it. My life has been...interesting. On the one hand it has always been perfect, happy, loving and filled with many things that most people never get to experience (like milking cows or walking the bridge of a luxury liner) on the other it had a lot of drama, hardship more drama and sheer stress from a young age. All of it has prepared me for my life now. The great parts taught me to be thankful, loving and loyal the rough patches to be resourceful, compassionate and strong in my faith because through all the rough spots God was there even when I didn't see it that way at the time. Now, I can look back and see His hand in it all and how it prepared me for today. I don't know what Boo's future or any of my children's future holds but I know that God is preparing me and preparing them for it through all of this. He has proved Himself faithful in so many ways, here are a few:
1. A great pediatrician, we hired him for our girls 1 year before Boo was born and never realized just how great a doctor he is until Boo arrived.
2. We got health insurance for the first time in our lives just 6 months and 3 days before Boo was born just making him eligible for coverage which is now passing the 1/2 million mark.
3. Our little house which my Mom and found, bought and remodeled only months before we sold our house and needed a place to live.
4. Sometimes out of the blue and from unexpected places God has paid our expenses whether from a "mystery" giver, a side job, a commission check I'd booked a year in advance or someone from church just wanting to help because they understood the burdens.
5. New friends, I've met some amazing people with even more amazing kids and have been able to minister and be ministered too through our friendships. Proving that good can come from the situation we are in through blessing others.
I do try not to worry about things getting worse. I do think there is a fine line between justified concern and care and worry which I'm sure I cross often but I hope that I can improve that, lay it at my Savior's feet and get some sleep knowing He holds my children in His hands.